I’m a perfectionist but I’ve learned as a mother that achieving that sort of standard all the time is mission impossible. Motherhood is far from perfect. We moms may try to achieve some semblance of it in one way or another but something always happens to make us feel we’ve fallen short . Sometimes we all out fail. I’m not talking about the days you gave your child screen time so you could get some me time or the day you fed him/her processed food, I’m talking about epic fails like the below, real-life examples.
“This morning I lost my house keys and my car. The good news is I found my house keys. They were in my car. I found my car parked at the train station cause I forgot I drove it there yesterday. Oh, and I just lost my wallet.”
“I made homemade cinnamon rolls for my husband’s birthday this year. It was so much work and I was so exhausted that I let my 2 year old eat them for breakfast, lunch, and you guessed it… Dinner too!”
“I bribe my older 2 with cash to play with the 2 yr old so I can get a break.”
Confession time. I have two mommy fail moments that will never cease to amaze me. I’ll start with the most disgusting one. You know those mornings where you got such little sleep that even when you get out of bed, you were still half asleep? Motherhood is filled with these type of mornings. If you’re a mom, I know you know what I’m talking about.
I sleep-walked my way to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, half closing my eyes the entire time. I brushed and brushed with determined vigor, remembering how the dentist instructed me that we should brush for at least 2 minutes each round. As exhausted as I was, I conscientiously made sure to dig into all the crevices all the while never bothering to look up into the mirror, cuz you know, I was half asleep. It wasn’t until I finished that I looked up to find there was no usual toothpaste lather and down to find that I had actually been brushing with diaper cream!
EWWW! Who put that there?!? was my initial horrified reaction. “Am I going to die?!” was my next. After hurriedly spitting, gargling, rinsing and flossing, I had to call poison control cuz that’s what the tube scarily suggests if the product is ever ingested. I’ll tell you, that woke me up pronto! I felt like a fool having to explain my predicament to customer service but she calmly explained that I’d live (phew!) and that many other moms have done the same thing. (seriously???!)
My 2nd confession is the most mortifying epic fail. I’m a nice person. Really. I rarely ever say anything negative about other people. I look for the good in others. But this particular incident made me look, well not so nice. And I regret it to this day. I was tasked with securing a babysitter to watch my child and one of her besties so us parents could enjoy a double date night out on the town. Knowing that J’s friend had a penchant for pretty sitters, I asked the potential sitter for a picture during the final (phone) interview stages (and also cuz I was curious if I would recognize her since I know and see tons of nannies during the day as a SAHM). She promptly and without hesitation sent me one and with bad judgement, I thought it would be amusing to forward it over to my friend who was waiting for sitter updates with a snarky comment that read, “not really a looker but seems nice otherwise.” Ehem. Except, I didn’t actually send the photo to my friend but rather (gulp) back to the sitter I was considering!! ARGH!
It was as if all time had stopped moments after this dreadful realization. My mind raced as to how I could salvage this texting error and possibly still book her (time was running out and I was out of better options). Luckily, she was a forgiving soul, and my PR background helped me talk my way out of this PR crisis and soon enough she was at our doorstep, both of us ready to move forward from the awkward start. Of course, as I’m getting the kids oriented with their new sitter and we’re sitting around playing with instruments to the music blaring on our loudspeakers, the next song sings, ‘if you’re BEAUTIFUL and you know it clap your hands!’ (since when did they start changing the lyrics to ‘if you’re happy and you know it’ and WHY?!?? oh WHY???” Double whammy. I was screwed. Our eyes met and I was so horrified that to this day, I don’t even remember if she clapped her hands.
#mommyfail. What’s your story?
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And if you want to read about my real-life #daddyfail story, click here.
The below memes are found from dear baby.